Polyamorous relationships: New Paradigm or New Age bullshit?
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All Comments (90)
spiralcosmosart
8 months ago
I think you missed the point, 'polyamory' is not no commitment and a bunch of sleeping around. That's sexual dysfunction. Poly does involve intense commitment, intimacy, and openness about your feelings.
+Jason Rumley Yeah there are commitments and then there is diluted and convoluted commitment.
The whole life partner thing is bullshit, you are born in this world alone you don't need anyone.
And the promiscuous people shall die in the end.
I say LET THEM FUCK!!!!!!!!
They will deteriorate in the end all while there busting, queefing, and moaning their pleasure shall turn into pain and despair and they will die so very slow.
+Joann Hunt I am a liberatarian myself and agree that anyone who wants polyamory or homosexuality ought to "LET EM' FUCK" provided these principles about sex: ADULT, MUTUAL CONSENTUAL, PRIVATE
They never work out in the long run , what tends to happen is three turns into a crowd over time , heartache is the only outcome as one person is always the primary , eventualy causing a rift .
No relationship "works out in the end." In the end, either breaking up or death, all relationships end in heartache. That's the comedy of love, you reach the highest high and you're guaranteed a deep, dark low.
Poly is not new, monogamy as a general norm, and ruled by the state is a relative new compared to poly
thank you very much for this video! i'm just going through a time, where i'm thinking about open relationships, because my boyfriend seems to be interested in it. but i really don't know, how i would handle this. you are so right. i just have to wait und enjoy the time with my loveydovey :3
lol look at that troll :P
R136a1BlueStar , although this may not be considered infidelity you can not state that only sexual premiscuity is harmful as many studies have shown that while males find that to be worse, females find emotional infidelity more harmful.
awesome video couldn't agree more!
What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all living powers. Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in the heart that is cold. Love brings hope to the hopeless and gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the power of love. When the heart of man is aglow with the flame of love, he is ready to sacrifice all—even his life. In the Gospel it is said God is love.
There are four kinds of love.
The first is the love that flows from God to man; it consists of the inexhaustible graces, the Divine effulgence and heavenly illumination. Through this love the world of being receives life. Through this love man is endowed with physical existence, until, through the breath of the Holy Spirit—this same love—he receives eternal life and becomes the image of the Living God. This love is the origin of all the love in the world of creation.
The second is the love that flows from man to God. This is faith, attraction to the Divine, enkindlement, progress, entrance into the Kingdom of God, receiving the Bounties of God, illumination with the lights of the Kingdom. This love is the origin of all philanthropy; this love causes the hearts of men to reflect the rays of the Sun of Reality.
The third is the love of God towards the Self or Identity of God. This is the transfiguration of His Beauty, the reflection of Himself in the mirror of His Creation. This is the reality of love, the Ancient Love, the Eternal Love. Through one ray of this Love all other love exists.
The fourth is the love of man for man. The love which exists between the hearts of believers is prompted by the ideal of the unity of spirits. This love is attained through the knowledge of God, so that men see the Divine Love reflected in the heart. Each sees in the other the Beauty of God reflected in the soul, and finding this point of similarity, they are attracted to one another in love. This love will make all men the waves of one sea, this love will make them all the stars of one heaven and the fruits of one tree. This love will bring the realization of true accord, the foundation of real unity.
But the love which sometimes exists between friends is not (true) love, because it is subject to transmutation; this is merely fascination. As the breeze blows, the slender trees yield. If the wind is in the East the tree leans to the West, and if the wind turns to the West the tree leans to the East. This kind of love is originated by the accidental conditions of life. This is not love, it is merely acquaintanceship; it is subject to change.
Today you will see two souls apparently in close friendship; tomorrow all this may be changed. Yesterday they were ready to die for one another, today they shun one another’s society! This is not love; it is the yielding of the hearts to the accidents of life. When that which has caused this ‘love’ to exist passes, the love passes also; this is not in reality love.
Wow, thousands of years of essentially monogamous relationships and we are teaching new ways of sucking eggs?
There's good evidence to suggest that for most of our history (keep in mind most of it wasn't written down) we pair bonded for short periods of time, maybe with several partners, before moving on. Lifelong monogamy is a very rare thing in nature and in human behavior.
I think there is a big misconception between free love, and non-monogamous relationships. These two are not synonymous.
Free love doesn't necessarily mean that you are going out having different partners. It means a Love that is free. Free of co-dependance, free of expectations, free to do what makes YOU feel good, the same applies for the other person. Free in its nature. If being with someone else makes sense in that moment, so be it. If not, so be it as well
I know monogamous couples that practice free love, as well as polygamous couples that don't.
thank you for this one of my biggest concerns about polyamory is it tends to center people in the lower chakras which is not exactly spiritual evolution
I think you're right, in that monogamous relationships allow a closeness and to experience intense and full knowledge of your partner. Relationships allow you a mirror to examine your own soul and a with an extra person that is likely lost.
However, we live in a messy reality and many will never acheive self-knowledge anyway, and an honest relationship might get you part of the way there. I agree though.
Did you see that "ownership" and "feeling whole" i based on prioritation. When you look att someone usually or feel any bit of passion you'll feel vurnerable. Tat's why polyamory is weak for emotional people and for pretty much anyone who want even a little bit of passion or feelings for each other in their relationship more than that of ome wigners or impl happines with almot completely blocking out of their focus the other partner that one of them likely has never felt in love with or will. Polyamory is and will always be abuse. Felings of happynes and caring and the mooth kind of "love" is not the typical passionate one that comes with or after infatuation. You can't have that "my lov feeling ince you don't know when you'll be able to experiene that person unless you make a weekly plan. You'll have that feeling that the one you love might spend that day with the other. What's the good emotional reponses between each others? It might be posible to rwire the mind bu I have problem seing any logic in it.
And blessed when only one soul longs to be with you. We can never know someone's true desire or intent. We will never be able to understand our own heart because it is a forever changing thing.
I am against slavery & oppression. But I am for equality, individualism, and in retrospect whatever makes one internally happy. If being monogamous suppresses you, by all means tear down your standards. Never expect someone to do what you cannot. And even so we all love differently in our own unique way
I have a strong opinion on this. But anything I say about it would be hypocritical. I just think it's important to look at your motivations for doing anything in life. It seems like most people decide on polyamory because they can't be monogamous. So I'd say maybe look at the why of that instead...
I agree. Imposing restrictions on ourselves might not be good, but at the same time if the the reason we need much to be satisfied is a hole in our own soul/ personality/ life, we'll just be continually unsatisfied and wonder why.
U are everything!!
Whats the point of a relationship if it's not exclusive? Just be single, (friends with benefits) you can't tell someone that you love them when you don't prioritize their feelings and i don't think anyone wants to feel like an after thought to someone they really like.
I have a half brother I never met thanks to my parents' free loving phase in the 70s. He is the same age as my little brother. In my experience it causes a lot of pain and suffering and people who engage in it had better use VERY reliable contraceptives! A whole new ball game when kids are involved. I remember the instability of my life when I was little and I actually wish my parents had done all that BEFORE I came along.
My parents are still together and monogamous. I am a mother and I would never put my kid through that. Yes, it is normal to think others are attractive, but there are other things to consider, particularly with kids in the picture.
For me, even for monogamous couple, the relationship is sustained by the illusion of possession, and what happens? They will end up being sad while imprisioned to each other or they will start lying. I've seeing so many couples come to this place of futile pacts, lies and such.
I don't own anyone and no one owns me in that matter. What makes me go to a person in that context is my own desire.
I'm not saying I will go out with a lot of people and such, no. I'll go out when I want to. I believe it's the most sincere way to say that I enjoy someone's company sonely because I want to be around that someone.
I'm not in love with someone. I'm just in love and always will be.
I'm more uncomfortable with the labeling of everything. Live from the heart and what comes across your path.
totally! I with you
67 degrees is the normal temperature in may where i live
I heard duckies in the back ground, most people are sapiosexual I find even if unaware Thier self
Maybe no matter who your with it's the very same being just seems to be another, maybe
Once you love yourself your comftorable with what you wish to do with whom when and how as long as your happy and enjoying the sharing of energies
Polyamorous is a manifestation of lack of spirituality, love, self-control, discipline and commitment among those people who practice it in their lives. Such people can't be happy since they don't truly love themselves or others. Polyamorous life style is hurtful and damaging to all people involved in it without exception.
Indulging in extreme behavior to fill the spiritual vacuum, and maybe absorption in
alcohol, involvement in narcotics or in promiscuity, or even deliberately seeking dangers in extreme sports, underlying that I see the oppression of a soul searching for meaning, looking for the truth, and being driven by the desperation of that search to become involved in things we know are self destructive as well as unsatisfying to that need.
The basic cause of the decline in the world is due to the loss of adherence to true religion or faith.
There is oppression throughout the world and adherence to true religion will
free humankind from the yoke of oppression.
What does oppression have to do with the loss of religion? The answer is
What "oppression" is more grievous than that a soul seeking the truth, and wishing to attain unto the knowledge of God, should know not where to go for it and from whom to seek it?
This is the ultimate oppression, not putting people in prison or driving them to become refugees to another country or depriving them of their human rights. The greatest oppression is that of a human soul yearning for the truth, yearning for the knowledge of God, not knowing where to go for it and from whom to seek it. There can be no greater oppression than that. This is the yoke of oppression.
Today we see the desperation of the search for truth and meaning. It takes its form in adherence to a variety of substitutes for true religion. For example, the rise of religious extremism and authoritarianism from religious leaders is the evidence of the decline of true religion.
The basic cause of decline in the world is due to the loss of adherence to true religion.
Religious extremism, be it Christian, be it Muslim, be it Jewish, be it Hindu, or Buddhist, represents the decline of true religion and the onset of oppression.
The fermenting of hatred and division in the world, is an example of this
oppression: trying to identify some external group to whom one can turn all one’s
frustration, one’s anger, one’s venom, as part of achieving inner peace and satisfaction. Another form of oppression is the search for instant meaningful solutions: the sense of hunger, the sense of something that is missed out on life, with the years going by, and translated into a search for an instant meaningful solution, which of course can give rise to break down in marriage and in society generally.
Another form of that oppression is the worship of idols. These are not idols of stone,
wood or metal but political idols, entertainment idols, sporting idols.
With the worship of idols, we can of course very comfortably and very satisfactorily look down on the pathos of the behavior being displayed but we can also recognize in it the desperation of search, of human beings like you and me who look for something to which they can devote their deepest feelings, something beyond themselves, driven by a sentiment that ultimately can only be satisfied by true religion. This search finds its present form in the worship of idols, including political idols, the quasi-religious sentiments with which charismatic political leaders are hailed when they first come to power and later the opposite occurs; the worship of sporting idols with the sense of devotion that normally is ascribed to religious practice. The absorption in irrational beliefs and theories represents yet another element of this oppression.
+R136a1BlueStar Reading over my comment, let me apologize for the insult. That was rude of me. I'm sorry.
It's funny, all religions claim to be the religion of truth and peace.. usually at the same time they are slaughtering, raping, or otherwise being awful.
More to the point though, it's rather assumptive of you to assume that everyone who is poly lacks happiness, spirituality, or discipline. Being in a poly relationship and sexual dysfunction do not go hand in hand. Not saying they can't, but again assuming every poly person has mental issues says a lot about you. Poly is hardly extreme behavior and is not synonymous with promiscuity. It's a lot more boring than you'd think.
+Jason Rumley Sex and love are not the same thing, and most people don't understand it. Being in a promiscuous sexual relationship with many people is harmful and damaging for one's physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual health and won't bring about happiness at all and will lead to disappointment and depression in people eventually.
What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all living powers. Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in the heart that is cold. Love brings hope to the hopeless and gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the power of love. When the heart of man is aglow with the flame of love, he is ready to sacrifice all—even his life. In the Gospel it is said God is love.
There are four kinds of love. The first is the love that flows from God to man; it consists of the inexhaustible graces, the Divine effulgence and heavenly illumination. Through this love the world of being receives life. Through this love man is endowed with physical existence, until, through the breath of the Holy Spirit—this same love—he receives eternal life and becomes the image of the Living God. This love is the origin of all the love in the world of creation.
The second is the love that flows from man to God. This is faith, attraction to the Divine, enkindlement, progress, entrance into the Kingdom of God, receiving the Bounties of God, illumination with the lights of the Kingdom. This love is the origin of all philanthropy; this love causes the hearts of men to reflect the rays of the Sun of Reality.
The third is the love of God towards the Self or Identity of God. This is the transfiguration of His Beauty, the reflection of Himself in the mirror of His Creation. This is the reality of love, the Ancient Love, the Eternal Love. Through one ray of this Love all other love exists.
The fourth is the love of man for man. The love which exists between the hearts of believers is prompted by the ideal of the unity of spirits. This love is attained through the knowledge of God, so that men see the Divine Love reflected in the heart. Each sees in the other the Beauty of God reflected in the soul, and finding this point of similarity, they are attracted to one another in love. This love will make all men the waves of one sea, this love will make them all the stars of one heaven and the fruits of one tree. This love will bring the realization of true accord, the foundation of real unity.
But the love which sometimes exists between friends is not (true) love, because it is subject to transmutation; this is merely fascination. As the breeze blows, the slender trees yield. If the wind is in the East the tree leans to the West, and if the wind turns to the West the tree leans to the East. This kind of love is originated by the accidental conditions of life. This is not love, it is merely acquaintanceship; it is subject to change.
Today you will see two souls apparently in close friendship; tomorrow all this may be changed. Yesterday they were ready to die for one another, today they shun one another’s society! This is not love; it is the yielding of the hearts to the accidents of life. When that which has caused this ‘love’ to exist passes, the love passes also; this is not in reality love.
If this is your way of asking me out on a date, I will consider it.
Haha.
Someone else is absurd, irrational, and very selfish and cannot control them self. It's pure craziness, we are not objects. We do not own one another, and we are all in the same category. Our heart can be beneficial to only us, and to share it not only compromises us but builds us to be stronger lovers.
To share one's heart is a very humble gift that people take lightly. Remember no one has to do anything they don't want to, just as you (yourself). I say consider yourself enlightened...
Human emotions are quite delusional, unstable, apathetic, and selfish. To only wish you had one person to love you and only you is fairytailism & unethical. Also I believe this to be inhumane because we fight against our own desires so that we can suppress our own nature!
They call open relationships temptation, unclean, and distasteful. Humans only get sad or feel down when they feel they've been betrayed. But for someone who truly loves you to come forward & say they may have feelings for--
There's so many connections that can be made in a lifetime, each is unique and I'm not convinced there's a superior super connection called 'love' that should inhibit everything else. I forged strong connections a few times and each can't even be compared to the other. I'm tempted to call it love but I'm not even sure what that means, but I know what it isn't: A co-dependence that undermines my affection and respect for myself. Or anything that erodes my own identity.
I believe life is what one make of it. Sex has nothing to do with faith, but everything to do with spirituality. To fight against oneself is normal. Being consistent is abnormal. When we all realize we all need love that is when we will become whole, as individuals.
Being monogamous is a bit possessive, and it can suppress the spirit. It's also kinda obsessive, and dominating. To say one will ever have one true love for all eternity is a little far fetched, but it is shoved down our throats.
its very difficult to know if your actions are not hurting anyone, time changes your feelings about things you've done, looking back at situations it can; on reflection hurt you
"true guidance" thank you :)
I had an open relationship in my mid 20's into my 30's....it had it's ups and downs but I found it turned into feeling competitive and communication was difficult because it hurt my partner when I was honest about my other partners, even tho he had others as well....but was more secretive about it which concerned me because theres sexual disease out there to worry about and I wanted to be fully honest and open and he thought it caused unnecessary distress and he didnt want to know or have to tell every time he had another lover...he was a musician and travelled and I stayed primarily in my own community of friends. it became very difficult and felt unfair after a while...this relationship lasted 10 years and lingered into the 11th year off and on. I would not want to go there again. it took a tremendous amount of energy and I now feel like every sexual partner is an intimate exchange of energies and those energies linger...and we are all affected by each others energies and carry those and share them with every intimate exchange....I now am looking for a monogamous relationship...I want to be able to totally trust the energies we are exchanging intimately are not intermingled with strangers to one or the other of us. I feel to be deeply intimate is something that can only be shared between two people.
and I must add trust is most important no matter how you choose to be, open communication is key and ebb and flow happens...nothing is ever set in stone. Most important is to stay true to yourself and love yourself enough to be honest about how you feel and what you want in every given moment or situation which arises. be kind and compassionate.
Also gotta say how cool it is reading everyone's different perspective on this video, coming back to the oneness thing I can relate to a time when I felt the same as each person who's commented, so maybe it's not only a question of being evolved or devolved in that linear sense but also like a spiral in the sense that we can come back to seemingly similar perspectives over and over but from a different "level" evolved a bit up on the spiral. This is my silly human way of explaining the concept with language :p
I agree with you! I can see everyone's perspective here has validity. Thanks for bringing up that point
I totally agree with u! When two people are in a relationship, they often forget how to live and just "be" without the other person. A lot of us are still learning how to be our own separate entity while still maintaining a healthy and loving relationship with our partners. Balance is the key :) Great video is always!
Yes! I think what you speak of is a beautiful balance to find :)
Nice channel, Im really enjoying it :)
Can't wait to hear about your secret diet! hope its coming soon xoxo
Its coming very soon!
Great topic! I believe that the concept of "not owning your partner" goes hand in hand with accepting and appreciating when your partner is in a state of well-being, no matter who's behind it. If you truly love your partner, how could you NOT be happy when that persons vibrations are raised?
So re-connect with your soul, let it be your navigator.
Pure talk, "Know Yourself As You Are The Most Important Person You'll Ever Meet." I completely agree about be happy and enjoying the wonders of self so if/when we come together with another, we're bringing something to the table and not just in "need" from the other person.
beautiful!
You are a typical dirty whore, who only has sex on her mind.
Love is bullshit, and you are not conscious,no man with hygiene self respect would lay with your stretched sink hole.
I agree with almost everything you said, especially the non-codependence part, but I don't feel that polyamory is an evolution in relationships in general. It merely feels like a different type of relationship, not one that is somehow better or more evolved per-say. IMHO committed relationships are just as spiritual or even more so, as polyamory.
yes! I agree, I wasnt trying to imply that polyamorous relationships are more evolved. They are just different
I notice a lot of the comments seem to imply that polyamory is all about sex. Or that there is less commitment in poly relationships. Nothing could be further from the truth. Its not the same thing as consensual infidelity. Poly is about long term committed romantic relationships. Its loving and being dedicated to multiple people. Love is not finite and can be given to multiple people
Hi, I would like to attract your attention to the fact that you are quite wrong - polyamorous relationship and open relationship are 2 completely different things. To be in a polyamorous relationship all parties involved must love each other. The principle of 'you can date other people' is only part of the developing of an open relationship.
Pointing a finger at more than 2 people loving each other completely to me is like pointing a finger at a widow(-er) because they have found another person to love after their partner passed away. It just has happened to other people while ther partner is still alive and instead of falling in the situation of feeling guilty or ruining their lives they were extremely lucky to discover that their partner has fallen in love with that other person as well and what is even better, the other person has a big enough heart and loves them and their partner...
You say you didn't previously share your view because it's a personal choice, but it's so important for us to share about this kinda "taboo" stuff because we can feel alone with our urges sometimes! Thankyou +kostayoga , you are a beautiful reminder for me that we're all one :) I'm curious what kinda summer baby you are, I'm a Taurus and I dig your tree!!
thank yoU! Well, I'm actually a spring baby but I love summer more than anything. I'm an aries :)
People with more blood flow to the lower part of body
Sadly it creates a depletion and imbalance to the lower chakras. When you come to a relationship it's to create unification and balance. Ya'll really think you're going to do that with other mates? Do you know how hard it is to create balance in a relationship now imagine the karmic toxicity. We don't live in primitive tribes... Devolution... Sigh
Eh. I don't think it necessary speaks to being an evolved person. You might get two detached, perpetually horny folks who like to have sex with multiple people. Also, I knew this man when I was 18 who spoke glowingly about open marriage (which he supposedly had with his wife). I was at a block party with them and I reached for a drink and his wife went ballistic and started screaming at me. Then when the man offered to drive me home, his wife demanded to come with. I realize now that she probably agreed to go along with his desire to have an open marriage because she didn't want to lose him but didn't want it herself. I think being with one person can be quite a transformative experience and having an open relationship can be a cop-out. But not all the time, of course.
+lemurian chick a very good way to put it - poly folks who are monogamous within their triad or....quadrad:-) Something that I have failed to acknowledge about myself for a long time.
Quadrad? Oy vey...This is getting too complicated. Let's just go back to one man/one woman or am I too hetero-centric for everyone? :/
You must be Russian right ?
Part Russian :)
Polyamorous relationships: recommend the movie "Her"
Ya the tree again. I missed it !. You are brave taking on this topic.............
Actually I always felt the New Age shift was focused on being single and really being okay without needing someone else to be in a relationship with you. I'm not big on poly relationships, I'm not big on "normal" relationships either. I'm big on NOT being in a relationship..and that to me, signals more of a New Age spirit than anything else.
I dont know if I agree. I dont think that being in a relationship is less evolved. Its a beautiful way of connecting with another being so long as there isnt attachment. If one likes being single that is one thing but to be single because it is believed that it is more spiritual feels unnatural to me.
I am into polyamorous relationships, but my current boyfriend (4 years now) is a monogamist. I respect that and I would never cheat or let him for that, because I know he would really suffer and I don't wanna hurt people I love. I know I can live that way because we give us both the space we need to enjoy friends or time alone. We compromise a lot and I feel that's the key to make a relationship last. Sometimes we have to put away our ego, stop wanting everything or be always right to live with each other. There is good and bad in both of them, you just have to find your balance, and remember that you can't have it all. And I have come to the decision that he is worth fighting for. Just choose what truly really matters for you.
